Bernadette Petrie asks are mirrors are magic portals where we can see our true selves?

In the fairy tale world of the Netflix series Once Upon a Time, the enchanted mirror of Snow White’s stepmother, the Wicked Queen, is her constant go-to, as she uses it to appease her deep and painful insecurities. Because of this long-established fairytale, a mirror still brings up feelings of both vanity and shallowness. I can sympathise with the Queen’s frequent need for reassurance. As a teenager, I would pass a mirror hung on one of the school walls by a cloakroom, almost daily, and just like the Queen, I couldn’t resist looking into it. Every time I did, I whispered a prayer – please make me look the most beautiful I can be; please make me seem more beautiful today. In the fairytale, the mirror is actually the home of someone imprisoned, enchanted by the Queen’s external beauty. Looking back, I can see that I, too, was the prisoner in the mirror, mesmerised by external beauty and feeling totally bereft of it. Yet what if mirrors truly are magical portals? One through which you can see your inner wise self.

When children below the age of two look in the mirror, they always reach out to it as if they were seeing someone else. Psychologists have said it is because they have yet to develop a sense of self, which usually occurs only from 18 months onwards. You can test this throughout a child’s second year by putting a large red dot of lipstick on their head and standing them in front of the mirror from time to time. Initially, they instinctively reach into the mirror, wanting to connect to the person they see there. But then, one day, they will suddenly stop reaching into the mirror and smiling at who they see. Instead, they will put their hands on their forehead and wipe off the lipstick – self-awareness and self-consciousness have begun. This magical portal now seems closed. But what if, up to that point, they have been connecting with their inner wise self because, in reality, they are still fully aware of the connection – fully conscious and in the bubble of love? No wonder they laugh and smile. What if we can all reconnect to our inner selves via this magical portal?

I’ll admit I was one or two tequilas down when I stepped into the toilets on board a riverboat on a Christmas night out. It was the late 90s, and I was at the height of my career. While very happy in my relationship, I was deeply unhappy at work. I felt uncomfortable with my colleagues and those on my team, and I needed to be alone for a few minutes, fearing that my face would give me away. I had no idea I was a pro at wearing a mask. When I looked into the mirror, I let the mask fall away for a few precious moments, just as I might have done as
a tiny child. I looked directly into the eyes of another. At that moment, I knew I saw my inner wise self.

I remember laughing and engaging with her and feeling for the longest time a truth: she really loves me. It was a sweet, sweet reunion, and it still makes me emotional to think of it today. That was over 20 years ago, and while it lasted only a few minutes, it was a pivotal moment in my life. Today, I still take counsel from my inner wise self. I simply take a deep breath, and I can see her with my own eyes in the mirror. These words always help me, and if you want to leap into your own portal, then maybe it’s time to take a fresh look into a mirror too.

Aided by these words (a little lyrical verse of a song that I came up with a few years ago), reconnect with your very own inner wise self;

Coming Home

Look in the mirror
Smile at who you see
tell the whole world
You’re happy to be me
Look in the mirror
Smile at who you see
tell the whole world
and set yourself free!!
Tell the whole world
You’re happy to be me!

You can buy Bernadette’s book from: NØRDEN 82 High St, North Berwick.